The Big Chop...

No, not really. I still have not gotten myself to that place of comfort where I can just chop off all the relaxed, and in some cases, heat damaged hair and rock my TWA. Although, I am a whole lot more confident now that I've decided to take this journey, apparently I am still struggling to take it to that next level. Everyday...EVERYDAY, I want so badly to just pick up my scissors and go to work, but I chicken out every time. Why I don't know because it's a lot more work to transition, especially after you've done so for 9 months and then you lose all that natural new growth to heat damage. I know that this decision is much more difficult for me now because my hair will be a lot shorter than it would have been had I cut it prior to the heat damage. ARGHHHHHHH!!!!! It's almost like I carried my natural hair baby for nine months and just when I was about to give birth to my TWA, lost it! So, to say the least, the burden of discouragement is weighing heavy on me right now. BUT...nonetheless, I have continued to stay the course and continue on this journey. I pray one day soon I will get the courage to go ahead and cut it so that I can truly start fresh.

What The Fire!!!!

Well I now know what it means to have heat damage. About five or six weeks ago I went to a salon and got my hair washed, dried and flatironed. I now have several sections of my hair which are bone straight. ARGHHHHHHH!!!!! Nine months! Wow! Really! Are you kidding me! Never again (slight exaggeration)...but for real it will be a long time before anyone else will touch my hair! I didn't notice the damage at first because it was flat ironed, BUT it did feel different than when I flat ironed it at home. I thought it was just really, really straight. It wasn't until I washed it and saw that some of my hair wasn't curling up that I realize what happened. {Tears!!} I have struggled with what I'm going to do next... (A) relax it and start over...(B) cut it extremely short (not ready for that!) or (C) just pretend like it never happened and nurture my hair through another nine months of transitional growth until I reach a length that I will be comfortable cutting it . Again I say...REALLY???? This sucks! Well...it is what it is...but I am going to take option (C) and just grow it out from where it is now! Pray for me to stay strong and keep pressing forward.

Update: I have about an inch and a half of new growth since my heat damage incident. I am hanging in there. Pray for me!!!

Afro Puff...

I bought an afro pony puff today. I was just a little curious to see how it would look on me. It wasn't expensive and I have a good idea of what my hair will look like once I've grown it out. I've got a long ways to go and I haven't even cut all the relaxer out yet. I think I like it, but only time will tell . I have about 3-4 inches of relaxer left to cut out so, it won't be long before I'm all the way natural. Yippee!! Confession: I have been flat ironing my hair because it's easier to manage that way but, I've got to figure out a better way because I actually miss my kinks and coils when they're all straightened out. Hopefully I haven't experienced any damage to my hair as a result of the flat ironing. Perhaps this puff will be my saving grace from all the heat I've been using. Well let me know what you think of the puff, it may become my new best friend. :-)

Whew!

I am in my 8th month of transitioning from relaxed to natural and all I can say is "WHEW"! Yes it takes forever to blow dry my hair, but... I'm okay with that. I have not given in to the call of the creamy crack despite it's tempting lure. No big chop YET! A friend of mine told me the other day that they didn't think that I would cut my hair that short. I guess only time will tell. :-) My hair has grown a lot and the new growth is very thick. Overall my hair seems to be doing well and as of today I am still on this journey. Lord help me! I have been watching a lot of YouTube videos which are very encouraging to me. I don't know if I would have made it this far without YouTube. It has been a great help! So I send mad love to all the natural ladies out there who have taken the time to post videos.

Me, otherwise...

I ran across another natural beauty on Twitter today and her bio message jumped out at me. "If God wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise". I LOVE IT!!! When I read that, it actually made me smile and helped reaffirm my commitment to continue on this journey. I will say that since going natural, I have noticed that I am a lot more comfortable living my day to day life, not just free from the bondage of having to have straight hair, but also without a need to put on layers of "extra", to create a look other people will find acceptable. When I am in the mood, I will put on my face mask, and when I am not I will cleanse, moisturize and go! Now don't get me wrong, I like pretty eye colors and concealing foundation as much as the next gal, but it is no longer a necessity for me to feel good about myself. I won't automatically say, "whew I look a mess" nor will I accept that from anyone else just because I'm not wearing make-up that day or because my hair isn't bone straight. This journey has definitely been good for me. It's funny, I have more love for ME, than I ever had for me, otherwise (relaxed)... Big ups to janico44, thanks for the boost!

Merry Christmas to me...

Well all the presents are wrapped and ready to go! This is going to be a great Christmas. I just believe that. I am thankful for the gift I have been given. God gave me a new love for my hair - kinks, coils, curls and all. It feels good to love my wavy ponytail regardless of what people think. I truly love it. Now if I could just get my whole ponytail that way, I would be good to go. I have not stepped up to the plate for doing the big chop (yet)...but I am loving my hair...my real hair. When it comes to my hair...God has given me the gift of freedom.

Still going strong...

Well I will celebrate my 6 mth anniversary on the 3rd of January. Now I'm trying to decide whether I am going to cut the perm out or keep transitioning. At this point in the.game the relaxed hair is actually in the way. As I mentioned to a friend of mine, my biggest road block keeping me from doing the big chop is the comfort zone I have in wearing a pony tail. I'm still thinkin on that one. Outside of that all is going well. My hair is growing a lot and I love it!

Good Hair...

I recently saw the film "Good Hair" by Chris Rock. Although it was quite informative, it was somewhat disheartening as I realized just how much we have been taught to hate our natural hair. The movie served to further strengthen my resolve to stay on course as I make this transition and I am growing more and more anxious as I prepare my mind for the day I finally decide to cut all the relaxer out of my hair. My hair has grown quite a bit since I began this journey, so hopefully it will be sooner rather than later. Sidebar: I happened to be in Fayetteville, NC today and saw several people with natural hair. Some more coarse than others, but all very beautiful to me.

Four months in...

I am four months into my transition from relaxed to natural. I celebrated my four month anniversary on Nov. 3rd. Yay Me!!! In all honesty though, it feels like it has been at least twelve months. I must say that this is definitely some work. But hey, noone said it would be an easy transition or that I wouldn't have to put in some effort. At this point in the game, relaxing my hair would be an easy way out. Simply slap some chemicals in my hair and VOILA, hair that is straight and easy to manage. As tempting as it sounds, I am going to opt out and take the road less traveled. I am determined to succeed and in the words of Donald Kendall, "The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary."

Here we go again...

I recently had the "why are you going natural" conversation...again! I guess at this point I really want to understand why everyone is so against natural hair. Ok, maybe it's not for everyone, but for those of us who have chosen to go on this journey, a little less negativity would be greatly appreciated. I am fully aware that my hair is "nappy" but I am at a place where I am okay with that. Right now it's about showing my hair some love. I could care less about looking different from my peers. If I happen to be in the mood for straight hair, I will use a little heat and straighten it, but the overall goal here is to get to know and love my naturally un-straightened hair. I've been telling God that He did it wrong for over 20 years now. Dissatisfied with what I was given, I took matters into my own hands and proceeded to "fix" my hair with the help of a tub of creamy crack (it is addictive). The problem with that is that my hair was never broken, so it didn't need to be "fixed" in the first place. God did good, and it's time for me to appreciate what He gave me. I am content with my decision to go natural. I can't say that I will never relax again, BUT, I can say that I will take much better care of my hair going forward. Whether relaxed or natural, I'm gonna do me. :-)